LIVING TOGETHER – WOMEN AND MEN

October 2003 – (Oxfam) Just as in every other part of the world, men and women in Angola have different traditional roles and responsibilities, and there are many inequalities between men and women in Angolan society. As a result of the deaths of many young men during the war, Angola has developed an unusual demographic profile. Recent figures released by UNICEF show that there are only 91 men for every 100 women in Angola. This imbalance is even greater amongst Angolans between the ages of 20 and 35 – the principal fighting age groups. While, in the longer-term, this imbalance might create new leadership or employment opportunities for women, in the short term it means that there are very large numbers of households headed solely by women. These women face particular challenges in making ends meet, ensuring that their children are able to attend school, and attending to the health of family members.

In Chissindo camp for displaced people, Bie Province, Imaculada Cayovo tells us about her responsibilities as a single mother. ‘I lost my husband in 1992, during the war. I walked here with my three children. It is very difficult to manage alone. Some neighbours help me, but I realize that they are almost as poor as I am. When a child is ill, I prefer to make sacrifices myself, rather than ask for the aid of others. I would rather sell something from the house. I did meet another man, last year. But when I became pregnant, his behaviour changed, and after two months, he disappeared. He didn’t want to be responsible for me and my children… Now I’m not looking for a husband any more.’

Amelia Noyengo, at Caluapanda in Bie Province, has also lost her husband – but he is not dead. He was one of the minority of UNITA soldiers to be integrated into the Angolan army at the end of the war, and he has been posted to Huambo Province. Amelia has received no news from him for months now. ‘My husband left in October, and was stationed in Huambo province. He said he wasn’t allowed to take his family with him. I received one letter from him once, but nothing else. He hasn’t sent any money… I need to talk to him, so we can make decisions about the future… I am worried in case he comes back with another wife. I’m not a jealous person, but I am worried that if he marries another woman, it will be very difficult for me. I don’t know whether we will be able to live all together happily as one family.’

Maria Imaculada and Rosalia Jambela are both widows, living in Canjili 2 in Huambo Province. Maria has four children, Rosalia has five. In addition to looking after their children, they find time to volunteer as community health mobilizers, helping to develop Oxfam’s public health programme in the village. They estimate that in their village of 298 households, around 40 are headed by widows like themselves. But they are positive about their situation. ‘Since the war, the men here have a lot of problems. There are some men who think about their children, but others who just father them and then leave them for the woman to look after. Some men know that they should work on behalf of their families, but many men sit around drinking all day long, and do nothing. It is better to be alone than to have this annoyance. The strength of women here exists in knowing that if we don’t struggle, we won’t get what we want. No-one will do it for us.’

Many women speak of men behaving violently, and of violence within the home. They connect this with the brutality and aggression experienced by men during the war, and with the consumption of alcohol. Eva, a physiotherapist working in Luanda, finally left her husband last year, after seven years of violence. ‘He was a policeman. I don’t know whether his work made him so aggressive, or whether it was just his temperament. He used to beat me. I’m only 27, but I started to look so old! I put up with it for years, but then I could see that it was beginning to have a negative effect on my children, and that was when I decided to leave. My family wanted me to stay with him. I am lucky. I have a profession, and I can earn enough money to live on my own. Even then, it took a lot of courage for me to leave. Many other women can’t take that decision… I might get married again, when I am in my 30s. But for now, I’m happy with things the way they are.’

Back at Chissindo, the women are keen to add that there have also been some positive changes in their relationship with men. Aurora Bimbi explains: ‘Older men are very different to the younger ones. My husband would never collect wood or make charcoal to help me, like the younger ones do. He makes all the decisions in our home, and in relation to money. Today, women have more power than they did before.’ They are also at pains to point out that we shouldn’t generalize too much about the roles and behaviour of men and women. ‘There are some men who are very caring, and some women who don’t care about their families at all,’ says Luisa Yemba, ‘The most important thing is that men and women need to listen to each other – this makes for a good relationship.’

From: http://www.oxfam.org.uk/what_we_do/where_we_work/angola/menandwomen.htm