SUBVERSIVE FLOWER GIRLS, GUNS AND ROSES
By Brian Latham

February 22, 2004 – (Zimbabwe Standard - Harare) Armed police in the troubled central African police state reacted promptly to the now annual threat of small groups of women distributing roses and love letters on Valentine's Day.

Sensing a new threat to democracy and peace, cops armed with tear gas and batons swooped on the lawless flower girls, ending their subversive and counter-revolutionary demonstration.

The move confirmed that only progressive, under-age war veterans armed with sticks and metal bars may lawfully demonstrate in the troubled central African banana republic.

During the last three years, so-called authorities in the troubled central African regime have given free rein to their supporters, claiming that anyone who does not support them is an "enemy of the state." Assault, rape and murder have been legalised for members of the Zany Party, while the distribution of flowers and love poems has been made illegal for the More Drink Coming Party.

"We cannot allow these women to taunt us with flowers and love letters," said a spokesman from the misinformation ministry. "It is an established fact that roses are the national flower of colonial Britain and as such, these women should be treated as enemies of the state and agent provocateurs."

The police, as the vanguard of socialism and guardians of revolutionary thought will in future "come down hard" on flower girls, said the spokesman.

He said the Zany Party had established that the Valentine's Day well-wishers were counter-revolutionary capitalists because they had not bought their flowers from a Zany politician now occupying a "liberated" farm.

"We cannot permit the yellow running dogs of exploitative capitalism to give away red roses unless they buy them from us," said Comrade Jo Mo, taking time off from his day job as a children's birthday party clown.

The brutal clampdown on Valentine's Day demonstrators came as small groups of troubled central African women tried to gather in city centres around the country, hoping to show troubled central African men how to hold a proper demo in the face of police brutality.

Sadly the point was lost when police reacted as they would to any troubled central African protest - with guns and raised batons.

Still, the move caused outrage among members of the opposition More Drink Coming Party. A party spokesman said it was now against the law for his party to do or say anything, but the hideous over-reaction by the police just proved they were in the pocket of venal members of the Zany Party.

"What can you do?" Asked the party spokesman. "Every time we do anything, they make it illegal. Now they've even banned Valentine's Day."

Meanwhile a member of the European Union's curious parliament said it was "rather unfortunate", particularly because he had become accustomed to buying roses from the troubled central African basket case.

Political analysts in the troubled central African regime said it was a sign of the times.

"It's a sign of the times that Zany cops haul out AK 47s, tear gas and batons to deal with a bunch of girls holding roses and love letters," said the political analyst.

The remark drew a certain amount of heat from energised feminists who objected to being called a "bunch of girls."

They pointed out that police were less discriminating these days and that there were dozens of examples of women who had been beaten by the vanguard forces of socialism.

The women also vowed to continue their now traditional protest next Valentine's Day, but a Zany police spokesman just smiled and said they "would be ready for them."

From: http://allafrica.com/stories/200402230316.html